Ethanol Fueled Family

---

Docile imbecile
Dreaming lucid dreams
Nevermore will he cry
In the moonless night

Raging storm outside
Liquid courage inside
Shaved head, shaved pubes
Who is he, why is he here?

Mother nature kills
His mommy outside
Howl of thousand wolves
Pierces daddy's ear

Whipping boy being whipped
Red streaks across the back
And so he is left in crimson
With a dead parent

Yuppie Parents/Generation Zero

Destined to fail
Killing time
Wasting youth
Heat is killing

Sudden death
Near the pitch
Hand me beer
You are near

Login system
Play the game
We don't need
Broadway play

We are the fuck ups
Generation zero
Spoiled brats
Last generation

Failures from start
Yuppie parents
Try to make you
Think like a yuppie

Can't bear the heat
Take your shirt off
Show your tits
Here IT is, take

Yuppie parents raise
Their yuppie children
Gladly I am not
Children of theirs

Food Chain

Nocturnal prey peeks his head
For the last time in the dark
Snatched by his guardian bird
Devoured viciously that instant

Arrogance shines in eagles eyes
Craving adoring glance from her
Flying above in the mountain sky

Cold stare down, a chill runs through
At heart he feels like a prey
But he spreads his wings for last time

That was not a cold glance, but a warning
An arrow pierces through his beautiful wing

Down goes the mighty king; food chain takes her toll

Past Candle

I light a candle in the night
Remembering the long gone days
Before the wind blew it out
Never ever to burn again

My memories serve like a lighter
But there is no candle anymore
How I wish I could mold another one
But who will give me mastic?

Days that were so bright
Now seem dim and dull
Maybe really you were
The glim of our lives?

Dedicated To The Oil Spill

No matter how hard you're tryin'
The animals are dyin'
At this barren wasteland of sea

Some people care
While other just stare
At the endless suffering out there

You gotta start
To be a part
Of saving all the fishes and birds

No one will go
So you better show
How this thing is really done

You just
Sign a petition
And hand out conviction
To the poisonous industry of lies

Sign a petition
And hand out conviction
To the poisonous industry of lies

Don't be afraid
And hide in shades
We all need to work together

Street corner mime
Working for a dime
Or lawyer with a heart of gold

We will stand
And make a demand
To stop this black cancer in oceans

You just
Sign a petition
And hand out conviction
To the poisonous industry of lies

Sign a petition
And hand out conviction
To the poisonous industry of lies

Father And His Son

Ghostly steps creep across the hall
Frightened child opens bedroom door
He peeks his head around the corner
Looking into the black pit of a room

Muffled scream pierces thick wall of silence
Child looks up and sees nothing worthwhile
And yet the scream still lingers in the air
Small flash of light, and silence again

He sits there for what seems to be hours
Yet the clock cannot lie, only ten minutes
And now, finally there is a movement
Shadowy figure, creeps across the room

Child is hidden in the darkness
But figure is accentuated in contrast
His chin bearing that thin mustache
Like Freddy Mercury but eyes of Bundy

It is not known, how many hours
Poor soul sat in that haunted house
But when aunt Lilly came to visit
He was starving and had rabid eyes

And the stench, it filled the air like water
Drowning every one leaving no air to breathe
Seven years of mental healing seemed enough
They thought those scars had healed like they should

But little did they know
Urge was there
Skills appeared
Now he was
On a mission

Dingy motel followed by dingier
Cheap hookers to get some thrill
All in the search of that man
Whom police could not arrest

Sure they thought he had forgotten
Bulls---!
He remembered it as clearly
As the fierce look in ghosts eyes

Dingy motel number twelve
That's where he was
Finally he would get
What was coming

Break and enter
Stab and leave
No need to watch
No need to wank

But yet there was
Even when he saw the face
How could have been so blind

But the rush!
Oh the thrill
No cheap ho'
Could ever top that

So now he had a mission
Again he did
But this time different
To meet his new found father

Together they would roam the land
Taking lives as they pleased
For really what there is to do
For a father and his son

Looking Back

Empty streets, where were I used to wallow
Looking toward the gloomy morrow

Some days wishing I had died before I was born
Other times drinking kool aid smiling

Nothing tells me more than a cold look there
Two of us made for three, three, three

There was you, there was me, and other me
One who hated myself, for being myself

Now I wonder how did that happen, where did he go?
Haven't heard of him since that day

Your heart was broken in crimson pieces
Not million, just four

Yes it was me, yes I did it, not him
He was a coward, he just f---ed you

Animal not me, he would have never broken up
Luckily I was inside, I broke your heat

Call me selfish, if you think I am
But I used you...

Back on that street where I used to sit
I see summer pouring life in it

I am full of life, thanks to her, my angel
She is there for me, and was back then

Without her I would have broken down
Now I just love her

Sorry about your heart my EX
But our time was up

See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil

Little dying light appeared before her eyes
Pop! They were gone, as fast as light came.

Slow thumping sound reached her ears
Sharp piercing pain, shattered her skull

Her lips parted to scream in desperation
Sulfuric acid mouthwash filled her cavity

See no evil honey
You will be pure

Hear no evil honey
You will be pure

Speak no evil honey
You will be pure

Insanity in repetition
He'll do it all again

Knowing, expecting, hoping
For the same old result

I see your eyes have seen so much filth
Let's cleanse you from evil spirits within

Your ears, those earrings, sign of the devil
Let's just remove those reminders of your sin

Ah, you scream such filth at me, you poor poor soul
I'll set you free, from such evil deeds and words

Trapped within, all alone
If she had her eyes
They would be wide

If she had her ears
By God she would hear
That sickos voice

If she had her mouth
She would bite deep
In his fleshy fingers

With Blankets Over Our Heads

Fingers brushing against your clothing
Slowly removing articles by one
Revealing pale soft skin to the darkness
Heavy blankets over heads

Air so hot, breath so heavy, quick actions
We both feel it in our blood
That one will tease other hard and long
Knowing how this will end

He will get others heart pounding
Ready to burst out in screams
And yet he stops and does nothing smiling
But they both are fine with that

Fingers breaching places where they should not be
Your breath on my skin
I feel your teeth clamping in my neck
You hear me moan

This dance is old as world or older
But we love it, oh yes we do
We partake in it as often as possible
Just to feel each other

I'll Hang With the Dog

This way, that way
Either way I'm f---ed

Had to say, had to take
Now I pay, price so hard

I can take, all you got
But I can't, be hush hush

Voice whispers, I scream
What the fuck is this shit!?

Silent treatment?
Fucking hell!

Couch for me
Bed to you

I'll hang with dog
In his penthouse

That's the way
My life is

Point Of View

Slow pulse - all that's left
Day long gone
Rest assured - it will hurt
Glad to say so

Nomads, roamers, vagabonds
Castaway souls
Slashed, gutted, grilled
In my basement

Beating heart pumping blood
I am beating you
My minion, worthless flesh
I am thy lord


<sub>He sang this lullaby to himself
Every single night to sleep
He hoped to be that killer
To have that power, might

Oh, mommy saw nothing, hehehe
She swore on her mother's grave
That her baby couldn't be THE
West wood Surgeon Butcher

But when she saw
The room of her heir
Oh in tears she broke
And denounced him at instant</sub>


But where is he?
Where should I seek him?
I must find that fiend
And put him to the sleep

I admire him for his skills
But he is a monster I do know
Soon this will end, I will avenge
All those poor souls out there

No one ever told me how hard
It's to find a serial killer
No one ever will, I am a afraid
Got to keep up the appearances


Hey! Hush! I am here...
In your head...

Freddy

Screech!
Come out to play...
Screech!
One...two...buckle one's shoe
Screech!
Three...four...shut...the...DOOR!
Slash!


Freddy is here...
Freddy is there
He's everywhere

In your dreams
It suddenly seems
All that's left are screams

No...no...don't you run
Oh this will be fun
Until clouds show sun

Child's play, dreamers night
You gave me such a fright
All I needed was a light

Freddy, Freddy, you dreamy creep
All you wanna do is peep
As long as they're asleep

Screech!
Freddy is here
Screech!
Freddy want's you
Screech!
Freddy will get you!

I Will Never Let You Go

Grey concrete under my feet
Soft fabric all around me
In my arms most precious
Gem I have ever seen

It's you I'm holding
I will never let you go
I miss you even when
You are gone for a sec

It's so nice to live
Knowing I have you
You give me the reason
Wait, you are my reason

Stormy days, rainy days
We are side by side
I will always hold you
I will never let you go

Hooker

Sheep in wolves clothing
Little forgotten one

Roaming the streets
Where they have no name

Night is young, deed is not
Butterfly of this evening

Rushing away at the sight of light
You live for today, if so

Fear and shame, both lost
All that's left is work

Stream of light engulfs you
Scream! Get your salary and run

This road has buried your sisters
Try to be more lucky

I Bow My Head For Both Of Us

Fleeting glance of to my left
How I long to see your face
Clock so cruel, work is tedious
I wish to feel you next to me

Restless me, always wanting
Be where you are right now
Dancing image of you and me in rain
Parade in my mind from time to time

But I know, oh yes I do
How we must find a moment
So I cherish all we have
And bow my head for us both

Hang In There Baby

---

Room of darkness and of gloom
In your new found dream
All these shackles bounding you
Make you be happy and sweet

Driven insane by their joy
You long for pain and blood
All is sweet and cheery
Mental anguish torments your soul

Sun is setting, darkness comes
Artificial lights disturb your peace
Break the shackles, kill your self
Electrocute your broken bones

He took it all away
Single squeeze, single bang
Soft tissue of your heart
Ravaged by copper and lead

Hang in there baby please
Be the piece of art
Skeleton from the rafters
Advertising booze and smokes

Post War World

Generous offer, one you can't refuse
Damned soul looking for light
This story started long ago
And yet the wounds still bleed

Hopeful amputee winking at you
Senseless suicidee singing "I feel good"
Sniffing junkie teaching children
Welcome to post war world

Torn apart by green leafs
You look for that edge or glue
Selling your last parts
This is what we wanted, right?

Ember still glows at night
Charred by a crust of disgust
Elegant robber extinguishes it
Hello and goodbye post war world

Moment Of Silence

Moment of silence
Understanding they call
Positive outcome awaited
In a moment of silence

Damaged goods intruding
Mechanical animals smiling
I understand it all
In this moment of silence

Crooked doctor pulling
White teeth out of toddlers mouth
Aint got not anesthesia
In my moment of silence

Summoning the Kthulu
Seeking understanding
All I find is silence
In our moments of silence

It Was Me

Snap of fingers, all it was
Sudden release of built up tension
Sharp pain engulfing you
Suddenly it's my fault

One who knows all his strengths
Omits to himself his weakness
Oh how I hear the tolling bell
Our time is up, you hear them too

Reality bites, adrenalin soothes
Reacting fast to your pain
Rally up those tears
Rest assured, it was me who hurt you

Room full of past and me
Remembers all the good times
Raw emotions and feelings
Respectfully incinerated

You know I am to blame
Yes I will take that bullet
Years that we spent together
Yearn to be remembered

Serotonin

You hear me knocking
I'm coming inside
Don't need invitation
I'll stay for the tea

Don't be so frightened
I am not a tool
It's you who will die
I'll lead you on a way

Oh death is your salvation
Life is my torture
Don't call me psycho
Call me Serotonin

Get Out

Why don't!
You get your head
Out of!
Place where back loses it's name

You seem!
So well groomed and nice
I know!
You're a rotten liar

Fuck you!
I am sick of pandering
Fuck you!
I tried to be nice

My Sociopath

Empty swing set - metaphor of your youth
Days of joy - inflicting suffering on others

You were always special
Had no doubt about it
When they saw you doing
Things you so enjoyed
They could only shake
Their heads in disbelief

Smiling you would announce
How you tore wings off
Little birds and bugs
How you gouged the eyes
Of that cute kitten over there

They should have locked you up
Yet you ran free as a wind at night
Wreaking havoc onto others
All the while smiling
As only child can

Damned were the parents having you
Such a sociopath with tendencies
You blended in at school
No one blamed you when Jimmy
Got hit by a truck

No one raised an eyebrow when
Mrs. Riley disappeared one day
Funny how things turned out
School was a blissful road for you
Then you got older, things got serious
Girls loved you - so cool and mature

But you never felt it back
Just a cold stare and acting
You got in her panties
You hung her with them in garage
Oh you were nasty little f---
You watched her suffer endlessly
Till you slit her throat

Days go by, you still walk
Among the normals - one of us
Are you really hiding in plain sight
Why are we so blind not to see?
How the dots connect with you

But you don't care, no you can't
You just go on, buying groceries and snacks
Lucky you, got a job, hot wife and kids
But beneath your mask you are a monster
You know, but they just suspect

One day the meat will be too cold
And the knife will end your wife
Your precious little kids
I will be sad to see them go
End is near my friend
You have to feel it

I am calling the police
No one believes me
"Who? He? No way in hell!"
They think I am a nutcase
But I know, I watch
I see your dirty little deeds

We all got skeletons in our closets
But boy, do you have a graveyard
And slowly your past will catch up

What is that? A finger bone in your mail
How did it get there? Don't blame me
I don't know, but expect a skull very soon
There's no way escaping it
I know you better than you think
My flesh and blood - my brother

Am I Real!?

Delicate explosion, tears you apart
That was a masterpiece of flame
You see you own dead eyes
As your head, hurls through the air

Knock! You wake up
It was just a dream
Yet you shiver like a child
Manic stare, cold sweat on your palms

It was just a ghost
You go back to sleep
Suddenly another knock
Throws you for a loop

Flashes of lifeless eyes
As you make your way
It was just the wind
You can go back

And again, and again
And again, it knocks
You keep checking
Seeing visions from the dream

Eyes so weary, feet so weak
You just pass, out on the couch
Then you see your head
Impaled upon a pike

Sunlight plays with your watch
Room is calm, temple if you will
Yet your morbid dreams
Haunt you day and night

Exorcists just shake their heads
Shrinks blame sex!
You know it ain't true

You will, dig to find the reason
It will consume you and your life
Not like you're having one

Some days you wake up knowing
It's going to be futile
And yet you dig...

Crimson sun, lays to rest
Your eyes fall shut

Again you die, again you wake
Subconscious mind tricks, am I real?

Electric jolt! What was that?

Where Am I? How I got here?

Padded cell, white figures!

I AM NOT INSANE!
INSANE I AM NOT!
AM INSANE OR NOT?
NOT INSANE IS WHAT I AM!

Sleep takes over...

Delicate explosion, tears you apart
That was a masterpiece of flame
You see you own dead eyes
As your head, hurls through the air

I Want Out

Wolves sang me a lullaby
Owls hooted their goodbyes
I embraced the forest
As I consumed it's freshness

Concrete monster full of glass
Mole people roaming malls
Plastic storks in the garden
Special place for your nature

First sunbeam caresses my eyes
I open my heart for it's kiss
As the ocean wakes me up
Hugging me in salty goodness

Chlorine in my water
Cars beeping and crashing
Life on a fast lane
I want out!

Know Thy End

Lucky man, one who knows
Where his head will lay to rest
At the end of the road

How I wish to know that place
So I could live, with end in mind
Accepting it, not escaping

Manchurian Candidate

Demented soul
Running around
Living in us
Manchurian candidate

Wake up at night
With hands in blood
Yes you are
Manchurian candidate

You took the oath
They gave you pills
You don't remember
Manchurian candidate

Demented mind
Raises arm
Squeeze the trigger
Manchurian candidate

Glistening Hatred

---

Glistening eyes
Filled with faith
In your actions
In your words

Fear of dying
All alone
Hatred of people
Forces you out

Damaged person
Hides inside
Smelling salt
Brings him out

Out of the seclusion!
Out in the light
Yet you look
For shadow of the doubt

Dangers lurk
In my future
I'll exile
You to me

Judged By Blind Eyes

Encased in a verbal tomb
Agitated by your travesties
Arrogance and dishonesty
Generated by hypocrisy

Special toy for retarded
Cry it to sleep little boy
Specialize in killing dreams
Lacking any set of eyes

Blindness is your gift
You, arrogant figure
Little by little dying
Toy soaks in tears

Déjà vu of your pain
Blind eyes judge you
But not themselves
Travesty of pity

Adumbrate your dreams
Preserve your hopes
Demure my beliefs
Crying for your toy

It's just a glass eye
I become contumacious
Living as your eye
Smile, we are dying

My Friend, Wake Me Up

My friend, wake me up in the middle of the night!
Satisfied with your love life's expiration date
What is this, that you're throwing in my face?
Can't escape, expired love rings against my head

Auntie said, you gotta use some drugs
Moma said, don't ever take those pills
Uncle said, his demons are his curse
Papi said, I'm gonna whip you really good!

My friend, wake me up in the middle of the night!
Show me scars, gained from love, rotten and green
Spiraling down the drain goes that pill
That's my love, for my father and his demons

Marquez De Spade

Hello, said Marquez De Spade
Grinning his black tooth grin
I will, end your life
And look fabulous doing it

Indeed you are a mortal sinner
Whose soul belongs to table
of cards which are falling
And draining your bank account

My father was known as Sade
His hands caressed my back
And made me the ace I am

Goodbye, it's my time to go
It's your time to lose
I will end your royal flush

Be Who You Want To Be

Browbeating buddy beats you to a pulp
You stare down the barrel of a gun
It gets turned away from the face
Aimed straight at his heart

Senseless violence propagated
By the TV shows and games
And yet when you go out and kill
You are the monster and an animal

Do you want to be that bleeding pulp
Or have a gun and stand up for yourself
Use your words as the bullets
Use your fists as punctuation

Stand up for your beliefs
Believe in your own heart
If you want to - beat that fucker up
Leave him crying in his blood

You are who you want to be
Just ignore those fuckers
If you want then fucking fight
Not like I would give a shit

Ending Is Never Where I Wish It To Be

Ending is never where I wish it to be
I still see them everyday
Hatred in me still boils and gurgles
I feel so tense and hurt

Can't you forget it, it's about the time
I guess you really can't
Believe me I tried, not to see your faces
I see now that you were there

Pain expression is what I wish to wear
I am feeling broken
Mask of sarcasm and irony I own
I lost my identity

Those bastards are still having their laugh
I am clutching a bottle in my hand
One day I shall have my revenge I hope
I just want this to end

Acrostic

L
I
F
E
HUMANS REBUILD
O
B
L
I
T
E
R
A
T
E
S

Ancient Deamon

He sat alone in dimly lit room
Where ancient demon talked to him
He told him stories of fame and fortune
He told him tales of pain and torture

He tried to wrap his head around
To all those tales of fortune and pain
Bur the demon tempted, demon scared
And the young man finally broke

He fell on his knees, laughed and sobbed
He praised the Demon as an idol
Demon of past just laughed and grinned
Watching the little man fall so low

Demon embodied all of his dreams
He was a perfect version of the man
Poor sinner bowed to his master
And demon took a glance in mirror

Candle went out, moon dimmed, cold breeze blew through the room
Mirror cracked, demon screamed, man had seen his own reflection
He saw himself, he cried in vain, he was his own judge and jury
He had lost it, he was gone, he felt dead to the whole wide world

Song Of A Serial Killer

I made a mask of your skin
I made it grin, I made it laugh
All emotions you never felt
I gave those all to you

Your dead body still in my closet
Mere skeleton for my collection
Your mask still gives me pleasure
I love to make it smile

All those times you screamed
All those times you cried
Don't you worry anymore
I took care of your problems sun

I really wish I had known
How fun it's to play
With mask made of you
God, I would have killed you earlier

Smile, smile, smile, smile
Smile with your empty eyes
You never loved me, never cared
Now we are one, now you love

I Don't Want To Hate Anymore

Rain gently caressed my skin
I looked up at the bleak sky
Anger and hatred still fuming
Rain can't extinguish flame

I felt the bleakness in me
It felt so warm so real
Better than so called friends
Ones who stabbed my back

Times have gone, I have changed
They are still the same
Grinning laughing, feeling good
I just laugh, hold my head high

But still this fire burns inside
It's an itch I can't scratch
It's like a mosquito for amputee
I see their faces, I smile

I wish I could let my anger out
I wish I could express my hate
But I am too smart for that
And rain won't forgive

Rain has ended, Sun has risen
Oh the fog, oh the dew
Learn me to forgive
By giving me advice

Or else I am consumed
By my black friends
My emotions are destroying
My health and mind

This bleak period will end
I will stand in forest
It will help me, it must
I really hope it will

Back And Forth (poetsanctuary spotlight)

Clock ticking in my ears
I slowly crawl to her
Her body spread before me
But I can't reach

My body - so heavy, so sick
My soul - so broken, so lone
Your gaze - so piercing, so cold
Your fate - so unforgiving, so old

Your screams piercing my ears
I try to get up and run
Heavy hand of fate
Pushes me down on ground

My sores - bleeding and red
My stare - dilated and red
Your hands - pushing me down
Your laugh - shrieking in my ears

Blood thumping in my ears
I am dying on this floor
You wink at me again
And fade away to black

Cleansing The Soul

I want to eat the sun
I want to burn my tongue
Don't want to feel no more
Horrid taste of you

I cleansed my self in flames
Yet I am still dirty
I cried for days in vain
Your ghost still haunts

Hatred is not the option
But I still do
Life as I knew it then
Long gone in my craze

Just give me that one chance
To end your life
You still owe that to me
Let me knife you like a pig

I will feel guilty
I will cry for you
But you will be gone
And that's what matters

I will cleanse my self until
You decide to die
I can't make you do it
Please wish your life away

Give me that dagger
I will do the job
I won't blink, I won't twitch
I wanna see you

I was ready to burn my tongue
Just to get rid off you
Now I know what to do
I will end your life

I am ready, I am stalking
I am looking for you my child
Sun looming over my head
It sees my bad deeds, and nods

I wait besides your window for days
I count your hair, I count your money
I see your every move
I love the way you smile

But knife in my hand is twitching
It cries for vengeance from the grave
I must give it satisfaction
Even though I love you now

I lurk in shadow of night
I hide in sight at day
Suddenly a hand from behind
Grabs and smothers you

Finally I am here
I am ready to do it
This will end here and now
Goodbye my love

No please don't cry
Just shut up you Snake!
Your venom is powerless
I have immunity

I raise the knife above your breasts
I bring it down with rage and love
It tears through your ribcage
Lodges itself in lungs

I break down and cry
I drink your blood and feast
Nothing left for me to do
But to say goodbye myself

My Fragile Membrane Of Sanity

My fragile membrane of sanity
Neatly tucked in razor wire blanket
I count the crows in the sky
While they feast upon my eyes

I can see their eyes so full of greed
They look inside and tangle up
In my razor wire blanket

I will sell my pain to you
And give a special gift

My fragile membrane of sanity

I AM NOT YOUR SON!!!

Cracks appear on the surface
Bottle glass slowly breaks
Vodka starts pouring out
Drowning the little germ

His small eyes pop
His bone skin crackles
Bottle crashes exoskeleton
Squishing him out

Remains drowned in booze
Like my good ol' daddy
He still walks
But bottle hangs

Damocles sword, under the bed
Cutting through his liver
All my hatred, all my fear
Expressed with strokes of ink

Still I'm wondering
Who was the germ
Was it me, was it him?
I made it so obvious.

Thank you for the ride
Now I know my lessons
I will never be like you
I am not your son!

Bug

Mirror on the wall cracked
Shows my empty face
Shows my little bug

I try to end this thing here
I fail I still have my little friend
Who sleeps next to me, who is here

I have my little bug
In my house that used to be full
Now just empty walls, empty mind

I lost it all so long ago
My money, my mind, my money
Now I have this little bug

Crazy, they say I'm crazy
Lazy that's what I am
I hate to think, I hate to live

I

I'm the sickness
I'm the cure
I'm the hunter
I'm the hunted

I'm so crazy
I'm so sane
I'm so angry
I'm so happy

I wanna be free
I am a slave
I wanna run away
I love to stay here

I wish to forget
I look at the photos
I wish to love
I remember hate

I cry all alone
I smile with them
I stand up for my rights
I let you use me

I am so brave
I am so lame
I am so righteous
I am a monster of lust

I wish for death
I receive life
I end your suffering
I am a killer

I sit alone in cell
I am not lonely
I am given food
I am not hungry

I hang from ceiling
I am breathing
I live for a moment
I have missed them all

The Raven

Lonely, naked tree
Raven on it's branch
Seeing all your deeds
Judging your soul

Raven watches you
Raven knows
Raven feels the angst
Raven heals

Lonely, weary human
Walks along the street
Minding his own business
Seeing the Raven

Raven follows his gaze
Raven watches his posture shift
Human scurries off
Human starts retreating

Raven screams his primal scream
Gates of hell swallow the human
Raven still sits on the branch
Done his good deed

Raven judged him right
Raven saw his true colors
Raven punished his bad deeds
Raven is his Christ

She Knew The End Was There (yet another short story)

Needle touched her soft skin. She didn't even wink at the pain. Slowly she pushed down on the needle, until all of it's contents had entered her bloodstream. Her eyes widened. And she collapsed in the corner remembering how it all had started, but now it didn't matter. She was going back to the happy place once again, a place where sun never sets, where there is no pain, no broken homes, no alcoholic fathers nor abusive mothers, no suicidal brothers and nymphomaniac sisters. She was going to that dream world. And by god Almighty, she was gonna stay there.
But as cigarette ashes disappear in wind, she woke. Now she had to get her mind together. There was one thing that had to be taken care of. She rose from the floor, washed her face and looked in a mirror, what she saw frightened her, where had her beauty gone? Or was it? Maybe this was not her image, perhaps she still was seeing things. No! Reflection coldly displayed what it had to - a young face, that had blue rings around eyes, skin that looked like it had been dug up by an army of tiny little miners, face was missing some teeth, and eyes, eyes were bloodshot. But it was her. Down in this pit all alone. Moving carefully and supporting her weight on the sinks she moved to the door. Then taking the last look back she opened pressed down door handle and entered station.
She felt like she had left a womb, this bathroom had been such a quiet place for her, where she had hid away from the ugly face of this world, but now again she had hear all the people yelling, all the trains screeching, all the kids crying, all the dealers dealing. She stumbled across the station on to the terminal. She knew that she had to wait for the metro. That would take her where she needed. She stood there right next to the edge, and waited, when she saw it coming. But at that moment she sneezed, and lost the little balance she had and fell on the railway. Train tried in vain to stop, but it was not possible, at least not fully and it ended up rolling over her thighs.
She did not scream, she was too shocked to do that. Everybody else was frantically yelling and calling, but she just laid there in and out of consciousness. Last thing she saw before passing out was a face, an old one. It felt so familiar, it was so ugly, no teeth, scarred skin.
She awoke in hospital, at first she was too heavily sedated to do anything, but when she could move her arms she found in shock, that she had no legs, all that was left was too stumps just below abdomen. Doctors did their best telling her how she could still have full life, but she did not care. They thought that they knew how she felt. They thought they could tell her how she will live like a cripple. fuck them! She needed a fix. And she was in hospital. Better yet she could OD on something, that would solve her problems once and for all. She could have no life on street like this.
Doctors found her body in the toilet she was finally able to use with her wheelchair. She was dead! Needle still in the vein and note in the other hand. Note read something like this:
"To all you fuckers out there. You all talked how I could have a normal life even with my disability. You call two fucking stumps stuck to my stomach a disability? I would love to see you Mr. Doctor to live like that for fucking day. My life had been a s--- storm for last five years, and this was it. Sure you could have given me some help and shit, but hell I still would want to use, I loved that junk, and well hell if I die, I die high.
No one is responsible for my death, you did what you had to do, I did what I had. So yeah, see ya all next life I guess..."

Time Is My Maker, Time Is My Taker

Time is crawling slowly
Turning all it touches
In white dust of eternity

My time is crawling away
Some say it's running out

Time is lord of my life
Time is money they say
Money brings happiness

Time can't bring happiness
Time can't make me smile

It crawls along it's path
Leaving broken bodies
Grey hair, dusty shelves

Bringer of life
Taker of life

My time is precious
Your time is worthless
I stand above, you fall below

No one is timeless
Hell has time of itself

You are going to die
Time will take care of that
Time is my maker, time is my taker

In The Mind Of Psycho

Restless heart keeps on beating
Pumping blood to severed limbs
Red mist is spraying the floor
I want you to enjoy your pain

Bound to my table of fun
Enjoy all those little needles
I slid so carefully my honey
Right under your nails

Or feel the razor dancing
On your bare chest pirouetting
I want you to love this day
Last of ones for us

Damn this cruel fate
But now your legs are rotting
Say goodbye to life my friend
I will find another friend

I go hunting on this road
I go lurking in backseats of their cars
I see that little piggy
God, I wanna rape her so bad

I want to use all the needles
All the razors, all the ropes
To satisfy my needs
They all are just tools for me

Now they caught me, now they got me
Give me Rorschach tests (as if I cared)
She keeps on talking, but all I can do
Is to see her naked and in pain

Prozac, Luvox, Paxil, Zoloft
All those fancy names are just
To make you feel safe
I still want to satisfy my needs

Death Of A Killer Queen

Golden hair glisten in the sun
Maggot ridden skin
She was a thing of beauty
Now just a rotten body

Lips that parted in joy
Now part of dehydration
Her body of womanly curves
Now just a mere skeleton

Fingers that loved kisses
Gripping remains of life
Legs like stairway to heaven
Now curve in devilish ways

Most coveted part
Of this woman's body
Was the reason of her death
Can't have a life, as a killer queen

Incoherent Ramblings In The Moonlit Night

Moonlit concrete reflects
Poor man's face in a puddle
Your car disturbs
Two mating cats

Pigeon flies low
His feathers ripple the puddle
Poor man is scared
His thoughts are flying as a pigeon

One cat runs to basement
Other get's hit by car
Crows pick apart his corpse
Life goes on

Poor man is rhyming words
Sitting in the puddle
Cat comes out of basement
Chases one evil mouse around

Your car pulls in driveway
Moon is as bright as sun
Sun has become so dim
As moon in cloudy skies

Your life is a mess
As that cat's body
Poor man get's up
His ass all wet

Poor man looks at you
His gaze fixed on breasts
He looks back to see
Truck coming at him

Your instinct is good
You warn him timely
He says no thanks
He just stares

It's an everlasting gaze
You wish you were dead
You wanna say something
But his gaze pierces through

Luckily a cat
Run's right around the corner
It scratches his leg
He curses and runs

Life goes on
Life goes off
Life goes up
Life goes down

Dagger Stabber

Dagger, dagger tell me why
You missed the heart of an evil men

Dagger, dagger don't you lie
No armor could have saved his ass

Stabber, stabber it is you
Whose heart is black as tar

Stabber, stabber I don't want
To serve as your killing tool

Dagger, dagger don't you run
The world is still an evil place

Stabber, stabber you will see
My way is path of light

Dagger...Stabber...Dagger...Stabber

Oxymoron Killer

Oh the dead leaves are living
And living beings are dying
I am the oxymoron of their lives
I am a cancer to society

I felt so blinded by the light
It turned all the white in black
Life is too short to miss it's sight
You can go and die yourself

What were my catalysts?
What was my cancerogen?
You and all the human kind
He and all his glory

I am blinded by the rage
It is the instinct to kill
Suffering is optional
Blood is most wanted

Love your neighbor
Oh I love him
Just like he
Likes little kids

My knife meets his throat
I did this world a favor
I am a cancer that consumes
All the cells it likes

I like only bad cells
I am the good cancer
Another oxymoron?
You bet!

Spirit Breaker (another short story)

It was raining and she was running.
"Perfect" he thought as he traced her, step by step getting closer in his rented
car. "Come on honey, just a little bit farther, little bit faster, move that ass
for me."
She passed a couple that was running in opposite direction. "f---! Hopefully
that w---- didn't see me, and if she did, then the man will have enough brains
to keep her mouth shut."
Suddenly she stopped.
"What!? Did she see me? No it is impossible. Oh right she is tying her shoe."
It was time for him to get out of the car. Rain had stopped, but it was still
cloudy and wind picked up leaves, and blew them right in his face, that
contorted with an evil grin, which seemed to radiate all the evil and all the
pain in the world. If a passer by had seen him, he would have thought, that this
man had something forcefully taken away from him, and now he was planning a
revenge.
She was up! She had stayed down bit longer than usual, because she had to catch
her breath. Now she was ready to get back on running, but suddenly she felt a
sting in her left leg, and then she went limp.
He was struggling to get her body to the trunk of his car. Dose he had shot in her was not lethal he needed her to be alive, when the fun begun.
"Come on, you didn't look that heavy! Why the f--- limp people are always so hard to carry?"
He threw her body in the trunk quite violently but she didn't even groan, she was really out.
Three hours later after driving through a rain, that seemingly had stopped only for a moment to let him get the girl. But now it was making up for the lost time, and at moments it seemed that if it starts raining just a bit more, heaven will collide and apocalypse will begin. But when he finally got to his house and parked his car in his garage he couldn't care less about the weather, the fun was just about to begin...
She opened her eyes and found her self to be in a some sort of a sick fantasy. All around her were different sex toys, and some things that looked awfully lot like human bones.
"No this is just a bad dream, it must be, these things don't happen in real life, it's something that media makes up to scare people. It must be so". All these thought ran through her head as she was trying to fight an uprise of tears that had been sitting in her neck ever since she opened her eyes. Now she let it all go, she was bond to a chair, and there was nothing sharp she could use to get her self free. Chair itself looked like it was made out of solid steel but it was all round with no jagged edges. So she sat there and wept, when all of a sudden the door she had failed to see opened, and in came this men. He was wearing nothing but a loose fitting bathrobe, and holding a drill in his hands.
"s---, why must those b----es always cry? It ruins the make-up. Well f--- it, I ain't gonna worry about that now."
He walked over to her. And put his arms gently around her shoulders and asked.
"Do you know why you are here?"
She mustered up all the courage that was left in her and spat right back at him being ready to die.
"Yeah, because you filthy pig wanna rape me, and then kill me."
He looked a bit stunned for a moment, but he didn't release or tighten his grip. He just stood looking in her eyes and finally said.
"Yes and no, what I will do with you now, will kill your physical body, oh yes it will, and quite gruesomely I might add. But in long run it will save your immortal soul from suffering the wrath of Apocalypse. Because you will have given birth to the child that will be the next messiah."
At this point she realized there was no way out for her, even when she spat back at him just couple of seconds ago she had a little thread of hope that this was just a bad misunderstanding. But now seeing all the skulls on the ground and his stabbing gaze killed the last lingering thread of hope. So she morally collapsed and just asked.
"Why there are so many skulls and bones on the floor?"
He saw that she was broken, so he released his grip from her shoulders. Went around the chair, and placed his hands on her firm breasts, and fondling them said.
"Well, let's just say they didn't behave themselves, but I am sure that you and me are not gonna have the same problems, now are we dear?"
All she could do was slowly nod her head in an agreement.
"Excellent, well then I guess you go back to sleep."
Before she could say anything he had drilled through her temple.

When ten years later he was caught by the police, they asked him what made him commit such horrible acts. All he said, was that he enjoyed breaking the girls spirits before breaking their bones, he laughed until he was executed.

I Know You Will Kill Me

Lovely ashes in my tray
Make me wanna get some more
I look so tough and menacing
With you between my teeth

You linger in my distress
I feed upon your lust
I empty my lungs for you

I know you will kill me
Thank you for that dear cigarette

Sorry Honey (It Should Have Ended There And Then)

I've become so numb
I've grown so stale
Nevermore I feel
What I once had

Burn my bridges honey
Erase yourself finally
I've worn you like a scar
Proud but still resenting

Run the damage control
Can I recover from you?
Still I have that primal fear
Will you be fine?

This ain't your fault
Just let's forget us
Let it be me and you
No such thing as us

I feel so evil saying this
I feel so dirty hurting you
But once in a while I must
Do what a man must

Abnormality (a short story)

7:46 PM 5th November, 1984 - New York Presbyterian Hospital

...she is going in a labor, get her to delivery room...
...just relax and push....
...Push, push...
...Almost there...
...OH MY GOD!!!!...
...What is it!?

10:09 PM 5th November, 1984 - New York Presbyterian Hospital


-Honey! Honey!
-What!? What do you want from me? I gave birth to a creep. Why, why has god punished us?
-But honey isn't he a little angel?
-Humans are not supposed to be angels, stop comforting me, I gave birth to creep.
-We must consult reverend.
-Why? What will he tell us? God has abandoned us.
-Is he, or is this a test?
-YOU WEREN'T THE ONE WHO GAVE BIRTH TO CREEP, YOU JUST PLANTED THE DAMN SEED!!!

08:22 AM 6th November, 1984 - New York Presbyterian Hospital

-Doctor, what should we do?
-You must understand me mis. This is the first time we have ever encountered such abnormality, and we must admit that your husband has got the point that this might be a sign from the above. But strictly as a doctor I can give you two options. First, we could perform an amputation, but since this is first such case we are not sure that we wouldn't traumatize his spine while doing so. Second, you could leave them. Surely he might encounter problems growing up, but I think it would be better to let him develop like normal children do.
-Is he normal? How can he be normal?
-Mis Fawkes, he is just a baby, he only has a little abnor... actually gift. I will speak as a Christian I am, I firmly believe that he is a sign from above, he will have a very special future, and you must love him.
-Thank you doctor, this is too much for me to bear, I must go to sleep now.

Two days later mother was found dead in hotel toilet. She had a note by her, in which she explained that it was too much. And she knew that her husband would love their son, and she would just poison his life, by loathing his abnormality

07:30 AM 8th April, 1994 - House in Aberdeen

-Get up!
-It's so early.
-No it's not, get your lazy ass up.
-I don't want to.
-You must, your teacher will be here in two hours. We must go to shop
-Why can't we go after that?
-Because I said so.
-I could finally fly?
-HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU, YOU WILL NOT FLY. THOSE WINGS ARE NOT A GIFT I THOUGHT THEY WERE, THEY ARE A CURSE. THEY POISON YOU, YOU ARE BECOMING THEIR SLAVE.
-Dad, what are you talking talking about?
-What I am talking about? Your mother is dead because of you, you must be home schooled, and every bible humping idiot in this neighborhood wants to touch you, because they think you are a bloody Messiah.
-What does humping mean?
-Damn, and you are an idiot too, simply brilliant, what else can go wrong?

11:05 PM 24th December, 2001 - New York, Rockefeller Center

-Hello 911?
-Yes, what has happened?
-There is this boy, on top of Christmas tree.
-Excuse me?
-Yeah he is on top of the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree, and it looks like he has wings?
-Sir, you do realize that making prank phone calls to 911 in felony.
-Mem, I am dead serious, please send at least one unit so they can confirm me.
-Oh well, but remember we have logged your number, so if you did prank call, we will arrest you.
-I understand

...This is central, units that are near the Rockefeller center please head there, some nut case is saying that there is a boy like angel on top...

...Dispatch this is O'Brien, I am on the way.

Ten minutes later:
...Dispatch, he wasn't crazy, there really is a boy with wings on top of the damn tree. I wouldn't believe it, but I am looking at him right now...

After ten more Christmas evening minutes

-I am the Saviour of the world, I have been beaten, I have been scared, and I have been abused in ways you can't imagine, but I have finally spread my wings, and now you all can see the glory that God has given me. He took my mother, he took my father. Although for father God did ask my help. Anyway, gather around people I am about to enlighten you.
-Boy, what is your name, and what in the blue hell are you doing up there?
-I am not a boy, from this moment I am Gabriel, the angel. God has sent me here to cleanse you all free from sins. You, blue meanie, what is your name.
-It is officer O'Brien to you.
-O'Brien? Have you sinned?
-Listen sir, would you please climb down from the tree, or will we have to use sedatives?
-Sedatives? Hah, and what makes you think they will work? I am angel.

...Oh my god, he is flying...
...Hey he got O'Brien...
...Shoot him! That's the only way...
...Shoot, shoot...
...BAM..BAM...BAM...BAM...THUD


7:46 PM 26th December, 2001 - New York Presbyterian Hospital

-Body belongs to white male...
-Has abnormal wing like structures on his back...
-Died from multiple bullet wounds, was killed by bullet lodged in his scull

08:00 AM 28th December, 2001 - Global news networks

-...Boy was shot dead by multiple policeman, while carrying officer O'Brian in his arms. His wings as found out by DNA test were nothing more than mutation in one chromosome. Which apparently happened because while pregnant his mother had been working in nuclear reactor hiding her pregnancy out of fear from firing...

-Protesters around the world are gathering to protest against Nuclear Reactors citing this boy as a prime example of what harm they can do.

-Experts say that judging from the facts provided by his neighbors, his father was abusive, and boy has suffered from many beatings. Thus making him unstable.

Years went by, no one remembered boy who called himself Gabriel, until more and more children like him started appearing in countries with many reactors, but it was already too late, man had helped evolution and now nature was taking it's turn